I feel like a girl who dies in a horror movie. Not the first one --the one that is typically offed because...well, slut-shaming, but the second.
The Second Girl is blissfully unaware of the imminent trauma. She is busy working at a hip coffee shop alone at night, hiking, or being a good friend to The Final Girl. Basically, the kind of stuff that would make a great medication commercial if played in a series of short clips with an uncomfortable smile.
Second Girl is just trying to live her life and then she gets knifed or eaten. She takes out the trash and ignores the faint scuttling from behind the dumpster. Then poof. Gone.
That's how I feel.
I'm overwhelmed and second-guessing myself. There's a voice in my head that tells me I'm too stupid and might as well quit. Java is the monster and the program being executed is me...sorry, that's a bad joke and the analogy breaks down there.
I'm telling you this because I want to represent an honest look at what coding boot camp is like. It's not always easy; there's a reason why Redrum is one of my most popular posts to date.
So, what set this off today? I had an issue with an optional exercise and went to my instructor for help. He explained some things but when I went to implement his instructions, my code still didn't run and so naturally I assume I am dumber than the troll in the girls' first-floor bathroom. It is late and I am too ashamed to admit to him I didn't understand his instructions, thus the natural decision was to admit it publicly to a bunch of strangers. :)
I will play around with it more tomorrow after some rest. I didn't really get to stop coding today, so I'm feeling fried. If I don't figure it out, I'll swallow my pride and ask again because I really care about learning this stuff.
Just an FYI: I know that this shroud of despair and self-doubt will pass. I will be able to look back on this post with a feeling of accomplishment, just like I do with Redrum. Eventually, I understood how to use loops and arrays. The same will happen for this concept, too.
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TL;DR: Coding boot camp is hard. You will have bad days. It gets better.
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