Graduation and What Follows

 

It's funny; I had a post waiting in the wings called "Halfway Through the Final Capstone," but I didn't have time to finish it. The last two weeks were a blur with 12+ hour work days, struggling through code, and finally celebrating success. 

On December 21, 2014 I graduated from The Ohio State University and ended the day in tears. They were the culmination of over four years of anxiety and financial instability for a degree I never wanted, but was pressured into obtaining. As an adult, I must own this choice, but it doesn't change the fact the financial instability has been ever-present, always lingering in the background as I struggled through now-resolved health issues and dead end jobs (no matter how enjoyable they may have been). I'd be reminded every time the paper statements arrived in the mail or FedLoan withdrew half of what I earned in a month. 

I always insisted on paper because the Gremlin of Pettiness inside of me delighted in costing the student loan companies a few pennies in profit to send the bills via post, despite the environmental impact. Hey, I'm still growing. :P 

When I was accepted into Tech Elevator and later received the Agility Partners scholarship, I was offered hope and a lifeline. In fourteen weeks, with the support of fellow students, amazing instructors, and the team at Agility Partners, I learned skills that will impact the rest of my future. Not just my future, but my family's future. 

Mike and I were/are not destitute by any means, but what we made would not allow us to expand our family. Since we got married in 2012, we have wanted to adopt a child from Mike's home country of Ukraine. International adoption is incredibly expensive and for years it seemed impossible to even start saving. 

Tech Elevator has equipped me to find freedom from debt and to hopefully start saving towards something (someone!) wonderful. 

Thanks to Agility Partners, I will be starting at Fuse by Cardinal Health in January. Excited is an understatement. 

As time has passed, I've learned a few things about myself:

• I'm a hard worker and don't give up easily.
•  I love learning and will stand up to a challenge.  
• I'm easygoing, but not afraid to speak up when it matters. 
• I can work alone, but I also make a great teammate because I don't see other people as threats to my personal success. I will be your biggest cheerleader and also, hopefully, your friend.  

I look forward to bringing these qualities to the workplace. I'm thrilled to start working on projects that will make an impactful difference in people's lives.

 

Today is December 18, 2020. I graduated and more than a few tears were shed, but this time it is because I am so sad to leave. Thank you to everyone who helped get me here. Aside from the obvious mentioned above, I've also got to thank (in no particular order):

• Ruth and Larson who encouraged me/brought me study snacks so I wouldn't forget to eat and starve
• My husband, Mike, who has had to deal with an absentee wife and more than his fair share of household chores. He has also had to endure me laughing/complaining about technical things he doesn't understand. 
• Jane, who was more than gracious when I had to cancel some of our weekly hangouts in order to study.
• Diane, who also had to tolerate more than her fair share of my flakiness and still texted me when I'd forget what day/week it was. 

To any of my fellow Tech Elevator graduates who may be reading this: I am so proud of all of you. You have worked so hard and are going off to do amazing things. Please get some well-deserved rest and sleep soundly tonight. I hope we'll still stay in touch.  <3

 

P.S. This isn't the end of this blog. When all is said and done, I'm a writer at heart. Be prepared to hear about side projects, my new job, and general tech stuff. I'll spill all the tea about starting a job fresh out of boot camp and more. Just you wait. ;)

The Final Lecture and Bats Full of Shame

 

The last couple of weeks have been brutal because of Thanksgiving break. The instructors were forced to cram four days worth of lectures into two and its clear many students are feeling stretched thin and bitter towards Vue.js and the timing of those Plymouth colonists. Couldn't they have just waited a few weeks? 

We've spent the last three months attempting to appease angry machines. Hours staring down angry red lines and making meager offerings until someone eventually murmurs, "Oh, I think it liked that..." and we're blessed with part of a working program. 

Perhaps that is why the final day of lecture was my breaking point. We did a review and I got lost almost immediately. Eventually, I turned off my camera and cried. Evidently, I was not very subtle and was quickly joined by my husband and cat who both made several well-intentioned bids at cheering me up. I'll let you guess which one offered to take me out for tacos. 

I insisted on staying put for the rest of the review and penned a depressing message to Brian and Rachelle during one of the breaks about my lack of understanding and fear of the future. I suppose that is one of my strong points: total transparency to the point of idiocy. 

Just kidding about the idiocy part, but I do dislike dishonesty and posturing. My hope is readers can infer from the rest of my blog that I will tell the truth even if it could potentially make me look weak to others. I want to give people a genuine look at what it's like participating in a coding bootcamp and if I were to pretend it was all easy, that would be deception and unhelpful to those who may be deciding whether or not to enroll. 

In an episode of What We Do in the Shadows, Nadja mentions some vampires who failed at hosting an event and permanently transformed themselves into "bats full of shame." I relate to this concept so much, that's the name of my mobile hotspot. While I am unable to transform into a bat, I am really great at sulking/dramatic makeup.

Anyway, after some encouraging messages from my instructors and reaching out to classmates who felt similarly, I was able to shake off the depression and get excited for the final capstone kickoff on Friday. The tacos helped, too. ;)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

10.3: Behavioral vs. Technical Interviews

Prior to Tech Elevator, I didn't know there were multiple types of interviews. Software developers typically have to deal with two: behavioral and technical.

The basic goal of a behavioral interview is to prove you are not a sociopath. This is what the average person usually thinks of when interviewing is mentioned. It goes kind of like this:

1.  You sit in a tiny room with unfamiliar people and they may offer you a beverage. If you are me, you always decline because you were taught from a young age to not accept food from strangers. 
   
   
2. They will then proceed to ask you a bunch of questions about your strengths and weaknesses. You must come up with a way to answer these without seeming like a narcissist or woefully incompetent. 
   
   
3. They will ask if you have any questions for them. The answer to this should always be yes. Come equipped with at least two, but no greater than four. For the love of all that is holy, do your research and ensure these are insightful and not salary related. 
   
   
4. You will leave and cry in your car, wondering if you bungled the opportunity of your dreams. 

All jokes aside, one of the most valuable things I've learned from Pathway is you are interviewing the company as much as they are interviewing you during the behavioral. I know a lot of us fresh out of cohort will be itching to accept any job and that may be okay considering COVID-19 and the fact most of us have quit our jobs to take on bootcamp, but in general, we shouldn't. 

Know what you want from a company in advance. Are benefits important to you? What about company culture or how they give back to the community? Do you want to work for a start up or a more established company? 

Personally, I am very concerned with company culture. I value a work environment in which people are respected and harassment/discrimination is not tolerated.  It should be inappropriate to comment on someone's body or start screaming at them for no reason. If there are rules, everyone should be held to them, no matter ranking or status. Failure to comply should be met with accountability. 

The above may sound like I'm being a overly sensitive, but I have stories that will make any person with an ounce of empathy cringe, including one in which, as a teenager, I managed to acquire a stalker and no one cared, but we can talk about those in another post. :)

I know I want a 401k or something similar because I have no retirement to speak of whatsoever. I'm worried that I will be 85, on my deathbed, and still reporting to management. 

So, what do you want? What do you care about? Keep those ideas in mind and decide which ones are dealbreakers and which you're willing to compromise on. 

Now that we've discussed behavioral interviews, it is time to talk about the unfamiliar beast that is the technical interview. Technical interviews are meant to ensure you are not a fraud. You will be expected to demonstrate your knowledge of coding and may even be given a kata to solve. There is absolutely no standard for these and you may even be given a technical by someone who knows nothing about coding. 

I will be honest with you: we had mock technicals a couple of weeks ago and several people cried. They can be overwhelming, but with a bit of practice, allegedly we will become comfortable with them...allegedly. 

Tips on acing a technical will go in my next post, as we've already covered quite a bit.  At this point, I've done both internal (to TE) and external mock interviews. I wasn't asked to code for either of them,  but here's one bit of advice I'll leave you with: Review your vocabulary. You may be the greatest developer in the world, but if you can't explain your code, people will fail to see how awesome you really are. 

8.2: Coding Bootcamp: Casual Suffering Playlist Now Live!

Struggling with imposter syndrome? Been looking at code for so long that your brain has melted like the crayons your kid left in the backseat of the car? 

Settle down, my friend. Let me tell you a story. 

My parents have lived in the same home for over a decade. In fact, I, too, used to live in that home for several years. It is conveniently located about ten minutes away from me and is nearly a straight shot down Cleveland Avenue. 

My parents and I are not estranged, we see each other frequently, however, two weeks into Tech Elevator, I got lost on the way to their house. 

I just kept driving down Cleveland, wondering where I should turn. I was exhausted and only realized something was wrong when I noticed twenty minutes had passed instead of the usual ten. 

Point of the story? Coding brain is very real. Take a break and get pumped with some dancy tunes, provided by yours truly. ;)

P.S.A. This playlist is great for adults, but not necessarily for children. I wouldn't blast it for family fun time.  If you're looking for something that would be appropriate for kids, try listening to The Aquabats. They also have a fun tv show that is available on YouTube. 

5.4: Why Can't I Git It?

I feel like a girl who dies in a horror movie. Not the first one --the one that is typically offed because...well, slut-shaming, but the second. 

The Second Girl is blissfully unaware of the imminent trauma. She is busy working at a hip coffee shop alone at night, hiking, or being a good friend to The Final Girl. Basically, the kind of stuff that would make a great medication commercial if played in a series of short clips with an uncomfortable smile. 

Second Girl is just trying to live her life and then she gets knifed or eaten. She takes out the trash and ignores the faint scuttling from behind the dumpster. Then poof. Gone. 

That's how I feel. 

I'm overwhelmed and second-guessing myself. There's a voice in my head that tells me I'm too stupid and might as well quit. Java is the monster and the program being executed is me...sorry, that's a bad joke and the analogy breaks down there.

I'm telling you this because I want to represent an honest look at what coding boot camp is like. It's not always easy;  there's a reason why Redrum is one of my most popular posts to date. 

So, what set this off today? I had an issue with an optional exercise and went to my instructor for help. He explained some things but when I went to implement his instructions, my code still didn't run and so naturally I assume I am dumber than the troll in the girls' first-floor bathroom. It is late and I am too ashamed to admit to him I didn't understand his instructions, thus the natural decision was to admit it publicly to a bunch of strangers. :)

I will play around with it more tomorrow after some rest. I didn't really get to stop coding today, so I'm feeling fried. If I don't figure it out, I'll swallow my pride and ask again because I really care about learning this stuff.

Just an FYI: I know that this shroud of despair and self-doubt will pass. I will be able to look back on this post with a feeling of accomplishment, just like I do with Redrum. Eventually, I understood how to use loops and arrays. The same will happen for this concept, too. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TL;DR: Coding boot camp is hard. You will have bad days. It gets better. 

5.1: I Was Publicly Wrong and Didn't Burst into Flames

Fear and pride are two things you need to get rid of if you're going to be a (happy) software developer. 

I don't know why, but for whatever reason, I have a deep-seated need to be correct. Perhaps I think my value comes from being right all of the time or fear others will think I am stupid, but it's there. This desire for perfection has made me terrified of answering questions in class. If I am wrong, everyone will know and my value in their eyes will be diminished. 

Guess what? It doesn't matter. 

Today, I awkwardly offered to try a problem in front of the whole class. We are learning how to select things with SQL in DbVisualizer. I got most of it correct, but floundered on further refining the data, which rendered an error. 

I did not burst into flames. 

It was seriously okay. Maybe I've grown since college, but I didn't mind being wrong. Brian didn't make a big deal out of it either and showed me how to fix my mistake. 

I didn't feel like my classmates were judging me and if they were, that's on them. By taking a chance at being wrong, I got a learning experience. I won't make the same mistake in the future and hopefully neither will anyone else who may have been confused about the same thing. 

Life gets easier if you don't take yourself so seriously. Correction is a good thing; it allows for improvement. Remember that you are not your code and your value as a human being is not linked to it. Even the best software developers have to Google things and need help. :)

2.3: Find Your Coding Bootcamp Learning Style / What to Do With Your Body During Lectures

Think about the last time you were in school. How did you best retain information? 

Some people may:

• Take notes (typed or handwritten)
• Fidget
• Sit there and do nothing (listen intently)
• Practice the concepts while they're being taught

There's no right or wrong answer, but for coding bootcamp, you may need to adjust. 

For example, I like the tactile feeling of handwritten notes, however, material is covered so quickly, I frequently get behind.

If I don't take notes, I need something else to do with my hands, lest destruction ensues.  I will absentmindedly pick at my fingernails until they bleed. Sound gross? It is and I am, but I have the feeling you can relate (I'm looking at you, America, who needed literal hand washing instructions at the start of the pandemic). 

So, if handwritten notes are out for me and so is sit there and do nothing, what can I do? Well, I'm still trying to figure that out. I've currently settled on a combination of typing notes, fidgeting, and practicing concepts while they're being taught. 

I feel like that's fine enough for the lectures, but my retention isn't as good, so I will probably have to go back and copy lecture slides by hand. This is annoying, because it seems like even more work, but it is how to get the information to stick. 

You may have to play around and see what works for you, too. 

As for what to do with your body during lectures:

• If you fidget, be discreet and quiet! There's nothing wrong with fidgeting, but make sure your hands are off camera or under your desk. You don't want to distract other students.
• Don't lie down in bed on camera. It is weird. 
• Make sure your body is appropriately dressed before getting on camera
• Standing up/stretching is fine in casual settings. 

Also, because we are all human, there will be a point where you just can't pay attention. Maybe the teacher is progressing too quickly or you have sleep deprivation or personal issues; it doesn't matter. 

Make a note to yourself about the topic before you zone out so you can catch up later. Try to pay attention enough to list any other topics being covered so you don't miss out. Then, this is the most important part:  REFER TO THOSE TOPICS LATER when you are in a better state of mind. 

Lastly, if you're curious about what we covered in class today, we focused on maps, sets, and algorithm problems. Most of it was very interesting, but algorithm problems is where my brain decided to tip its hat in farewell and hop off the wagon. I will have to review those concepts later tonight. ;)

Note: From here on out, I'm going to reference the week and day in this format:
Week.Day
so 2.3 is Week 2 Day 3

Week 2: Day 2: Squeaking Out Questions

Brian is really good about pausing to ask if we have any questions. 

The problem is, I am still learning how to be comfortable talking on Zoom and am afraid to ask any. 

Well, I am proud to report that today I did ask a question! I was awkward and squeaky, but did not die from it. 

Please learn from my thought process:
1. Your instructor is there to help you.

2. You're receiving a ton of information! It's okay if you missed a bit and need clarification. Don't worry about whether or not other people think you're stupid.

         a) Most likely someone else also had that question
         b) Review benefits everyone
         c) On the off chance they think you're dumber than Victim #1 in a horror movie, so what? It's               not like you want to hang around people like that anyway.

3. Everyone in my cohort has been incredibly supportive and awesome. I'm honestly not too worried about c). 

4. If in some alternate universe, everyone in my cohort was judgmental and mean, so what? I'm here for me. I want to learn about software development and the opinions of others shouldn't affect that.

I mention this in case one of you lovely readers is going through a bootcamp or considering it. Don't let fear hold you back! 

Another quick note: 

I often talk about how hard this program is, but you want to know the truth? 

I've never been happier. 

It is hard, but I absolutely love it.  

I enjoy the difficulty. 

It is exhilarating to spend an hour on a program, research what's going wrong, and finally solve it. I enjoy running tests in Eclipse and seeing "Failures: 0".

End of Week 1: I Am Just a Husk

 Scenario:

I am at my desk immersed in correcting my homework. What did I miss? Probably left out a bracket or semi-colon because life is a sick joke and if you miss just one of those symbols, it throws the whole program off. 

I hear the crescendo of footsteps drawing closer. The door creaks open and then the dreaded words:

"Whatcha up to?"

"NOTHING, MIKE. JEEZ!" I reply without looking up from the computer. Suddenly, I remember that is a human being that I am talking to and not the Charizard I "rubber duck" with. 

Snapped out of work mode, I am suddenly filled with shame. I turn to my wonderful husband of eight years and say, "Sorry, Mike. It's been hard. Just doing homework. Oh, and happy birthday!" 

Week 1 Summary: 

Tech Elevator was not lying when they said the program would be time intensive. I don't go to bed until around 1am most days. While the scenario above has been slightly embellished, it is fair to say that I don't have nearly as much time to spend with Mike and my friends. I know it's only temporary, which helps. Plus, you just can't beat the thrill of struggle busing through code until you finally find a solution that works. 

I feel very lucky. My instructor, Brian, is not monotone and comes up with great analogies that make concepts like loops and arrays easy to understand. On Friday he included a very helpful bit about peer programming etiquette and assigned us our first partners. 

I was extremely nervous about starting peer programming. My fear is that I don't know enough and will be deadweight. Thankfully, Ross, my partner, seemed to be in the same boat and was incredibly patient and up for trying anything. For the final exercise we were searching Stack Exchange and Googling different ideas and plugging them in until something worked. One of our classmates, Christina, also swooped in to help and gave us a fresh way to reconsider our code.

It's been hard, but tons of fun. 

Some practical takeaways:

• "Rubber ducking" is the practice of explaining code to something that doesn't talk back. It really is helpful for recognizing errors.
• I took a writing class in college where the class mantra was "kill your darlings". Basically, it means you shouldn't get too attached to what you write; there will always be something better or a way of improving it. You are not your writing. Don't take criticism personally or be afraid of throwing things away. The same principle applies to code. 
• Step away from the computer. Take a break every fifty minutes or so. If I'm feeling really frustrated, I will go to bed and tackle things again in the morning. It's like flipping a switch; I wake up and suddenly everything clicks.

Day 4: Redrum

public String elainasThoughts (boolean understandsClassMaterial) { 

boolean understandsClassMaterials = false; 

String elainasThoughts = ""; 

 

if (understandsClassMaterial == true) {
return elainasThoughts = "Food!";} 

else if (understandsClassMaterial == false) {
return elainasThoughts = "redrum redrum redrum"; } 

 

return elainasThoughts;

}

I'd include a loop in there, but understandsClassMaterial = false.

Day 1: Adjusting

Day one was difficult, but not because of the material. We started our orientation meeting at 9am and didn’t finish our lecture until after 5pm. If this were in person, it would be cake, however, we are dealing with the beast that is Zoom and I found myself utterly exhausted.

Have you heard of Zoom Fatigue? It’s a real thing. Basically, our brains want to process non-verbal cues and that is difficult via video. There are several other stressors involved, but that is the primary cause in most articles.

I had a feeling this would be an issue for me. I talk to several friends on Zoom and Discord weekly and afterwards find myself wanting to take a long nap. Not possible here, but that’s okay. I will pump myself full of caffeine and carry on!

The first day was mostly introducing the tools we’d be working with. We practiced various commands in Bash. After we were comfortable with those, Brian, our instructor, went over how to use Git.

I must say, the Git Pro Git book made me think using Git would be harder than it actually is. After Brian walked us through it, the concepts were much easier to understand.

The Meet and Greet

 Normally, the cohort would meet and learn in person, but due to COVID-19 the school has had to make some adjustments.

We maintain a virtual presence in Sococo, which feels kind of feels like the lamest real-time video game ever. I don’t mean that in the sense that Sococo is bad, but that you can’t shoot other players or slay dragons. Upon logging in, your avatar can enter different rooms and collaborate with other users. We each have a classroom we’re assigned to, which contains links to the Zoom meeting lectures and other materials.

Today’s meet and greet was over Zoom and included sixty people. We were given introductory questions in advance and every person on the call answered them. This has the recipe to be supernaturally long and boring, but it was great fun! I was surprised by the range of ages, backgrounds, interests, etc.

I am a dork, so I took notes. I want to make new friends and learn more about people. I’m really sad that we have to meet online. I’ve never had a learning experience where my anxiety was in check, so I was looking forward to actually interacting with unfamiliar humans, as opposed to running from them.

Intro

I'm Elaina. I'm 29 and I feel fine...sort of. If you don't count the world crashing down around me and the persistent shroud of depression and anxiety that I've struggled to suppress my entire life. :)

No, really, I'm okay. Nowadays, people who don't know me very well might even describe me as bubbly and talkative. I've got the meds to thank for that. Now, the playing field is more even. I'm ready for the next challenge.

Speaking of challenges, I was accepted into a coding boot camp, Tech Elevator. It's the kind that's so intensive, you have to quit your job and pray you will find another when all is said and done. This would be terrifying under normal circumstances, especially for someone like me who grew up fairly poor, but is even more nerve-wracking considering how COVID-19 has affected hiring. 

I like consistency. There is something very special in knowing you can afford your next meal that I will never take for granted. A small part of me fears I may have given that up, but an even greater segment is brimming with excitement...